Another week closer to death, I mean another week closer to the NBA playoffs.

Russell Westbrook Triple Double Update

Westbrook added two more triple doubles to the pile putting him at 36 on the season (just 5 away from the record). His 35th triple double came with a perfect shooting percentage (6-6 from the field and 6-6 from the line). The “perfect” triple double was the first of its kind.


Playoffs are in the air

The NBA has been fight free for a while now. When I think of the  current NBA I think of three point shots, ball movement, rotation defense, and the generous dispensary of flagrant fouls. I vividly remember the shock I felt while watching the ESPN 30 for 30 on Christian Laettner when Laettner stomped his foot on the chest of a downed Kentucky player and only received a technical foul. In the current basketball culture I can’t even imagine what the punishment would be for a chest stomp. We currently live in a basketball world where Grayson Allen is publicly eviscerated and suspended for intentionally tripping his opponent.

I don’t think any generation of basketball is necessarily better than the other, they are just different. Bloated former NBA players are never afraid of explaining why their generation was tougher as fights and hand checking were a regular occurrence. I enjoy the bad boy Pistons team just as much as I enjoy the millennial “cute” current Warriors team.

What I am trying to say is, the “fights” that took place last week were surprising; I am not used to seeing them. The Warriors and Thunder got into a little scuffle that was more “hold me back!” than actually fighting. The Serge Ibaka and Robin Lopez exchange saw actual punches thrown. Those punches didn’t land but both 7 footers wanted them too, they had every intention of hurt each other. Both players were ejected and suspended a game.

J.J. “he is still in the league?” Barea was also ejected from a game after pushing the much larger Blake Griffin. The hot emotions of the playoffs appear to have entered the league a few weeks early.

Joakim Noah

Noah was ruled out for the season by the Knicks in early February after having surgery on his knee. This week he received a 20 game suspension for violating the NBA anti-drug policy for testing positive for a drug that is considered to be a performance enhancer. The Knicks have medically cleared Noah so he can eat up 11 games of that 20 game suspension this season.

Dumb stories that wouldn’t be reported if their weren’t multiple 24 hour sports networks with nothing to talk about

Apparently Shaq has put forth the Kyrie Irving defense in the his current criminal trial of being a complete fucking retard. As I discussed last week, Shaq stated on his podcast that he believes the earth is flat just weeks after Kyrie did the same. He has now stated that he was joking.

Ok, so let’s say Shaq is joking. Why? To prove the media is dumb and will report on anything? To receive attention? I will never know the real answer but that won’t stop me from recklessly speculating. Shaq likes attention. He is a member of the same media that he trolled and pulled this stunt most likely in an effort to promote his shitty podcast within the same week his statue is unveiled outside of the Staples Center. We get it Shaq, you are funny and awesome.

Charles Barkley revealed on the Dan Patrick Show last week that if he knew he was going to die he would want to kill Skip Bayless live on TV. Barkley clarified that he doesn’t want to go to prison and get raped so he would only beat Skip Bayless to death if he were close to dying.

Lavar Ball is continuing on his tour of being the Trump of debate sports shows. He is using the crutches of the media to generate attention and therefore future riches. The dude is Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless blended together into one unlikeable talk person with an oversized head (literally and figuratively). He is irresistible to television producers as he increases the pressure to perform on his three sons. In his ignorant exploitative shouting he called out LeBron James stating that his sons are better off than his triple B’s (three sons). This pissed LeBron off. Jesus fucking Christ why is this guy receiving so much attention?

Stats that were unique enough to be made into social media posts by the leading sports media outlets

My Nintendo 64 is older than Devin Booker. As a member of the youngest starting lineup in NBA history on the Suns, Booker scored 70 points in a loss to the Celtics. He scored 70 fucking points on 21-40 shooting. He is the first player to score 70 points since Kobe in 2006 when he scored 81. The Suns loss the game and Earl Watson ordered intentional fouls to provide more time for Booker to get to 70 but who cares. Only 5 other players have scored 70 points in a game (Wilt Chamberlain, Kobe Bryant, David Thompson, Elgin Baylor, and David Robinson).

Steph Curry has had a down year according to his standards but last week he entered the top 5 all-time threes made in a season. He holds 4 of the top 5 spots for threes made in a season. The other spot his held by his teammate Klay Thompson.

1). Stephen Curry – 402 threes – 2015-16
2). Stephen Curry – 286 threes – 2014-15
3). Stephen Curry – 282 threes – 2016-17 (still 9 games left to play)
4). Klay Thompson – 276 threes – 2015-16
5). Stephen Curry – 272 threes – 2012-13

LeBron James moved up to 12th all-time in career assists.

Anthony Davis recorded his 14th game this season where he had 30 points and 15 rebounds.