The best word to describe week 13 of this NFL season is weird. Joe Flacco looked like Joe Montana, the best player at his position almost retired in the middle of a game, Andy Reid is making smart decisions, Dwayne Allen caught 3 touchdowns in a game, and Cam Newton was benched for not wearing a tie. What the fuck happened?

Cam Newton

I actually watched the Sunday night prime time game this week so I was able to listen to a confused Michaels and Collinsworth search for their Derek Anderson facts as he trotted onto the field to start the game. Newton looked healthy on the side lines and was not on the injury report, why was Anderson playing? All of this speculation stole my attention and I was locked in for the first play. Derek Anderson took the snap, dropped back and threw a screen pass to full back Mike Tolbert who bobbled and tipped the ball into a defenders hands. Interception on the first play with the back up QB. What the hell?

It was later revealed that Cam Newton didn’t wear a tie violating a team dress code. So to punish him, River Boat Ron started Anderson for the first drive of the game. A drive that lasted one play as Seattle intercepted the pass from a backup QB to an offensive lineman sized full back. There is no way that is why Newton was benched for the first drive. A tie? That is a cover for something worse. All of this attention and distraction is not worth punishing the league MVP for not wearing a tie. Newton did something super messed up and I really want to know what it was. Hopefully that comes out someday.

Earl Thomas

The best safety (or at least free safety) in the NFL broke his leg after colliding with the second best safety in the NFL, Cam Chancellor. Thomas was emotional as he was carted off the field and while in the locker room he fired off a tweet explaining how crappy the situation is and that he is considering retirement. This story then blew up as Thomas is the highest paid safety at age 27 in the best secondary in the NFL. He is out for the rest of the season and according to him, may never play again. I find that hard to believe, especially considering the money he would be leaving on the table. Personally I feel like him breaking his leg really hurt and he wanted to indirectly let everyone know that breaking your leg in the last stretch of the season fucking sucks. Everyone, including hard hitting safeties, wants some pity from now and then. Earl Thomas will be back next year playing for the Seahawks.

Coaching

Once upon a time Andy Reid was considered to be a doofus of a head coach who made questionable decisions. He was notorious for mismanaging the clock and throwing challenge flags when he was supposed to. Now the Kansas City Chiefs are on a roll, thanks to the uncharacteristically aggressive Andy Reid. On Sunday against the Falcons, the Chiefs had the ball around mid-field for a 4th and short play. The team was lined up to pun but instead of snapping the ball to the punter, the ball was snapped to Albert Wilson who bolted through the middle of the line for a 50 plus yard touchdown run. That was a great call by Andy Reid, a sentence I never thought I’d type.

On the other end of the spectrum, Jeff Fisher just received a contract extension with a resume that would get any other coach fired. The Rams are bad this year, Jared Goff looks disappointing, and Todd Gurley’s prime is being wasted behind a bad offensive line. To further embarrass himself and the team, Jeff Fisher was bundled up like he was going to scale mount Everest. He wanted to challenge a call and looked ridiculous as he rummage through his parka looking for the red flag to toss onto the field. He couldn’t find the flag and had to ask the official standing near him for a challenge. Sign him up for two more years.

Eric Berry

We all know Eric Berry had cancer years ago and missed playing time as he underwent treatment. Like we do with any famous person who gets cancer and beats it with the help of the best health care a normal person doesn’t have access too, we praise the hell out of him and talk about him beating cancer every time he is brought up. Being from the Atlanta area, the first time playing in Atlanta as pro was a big deal to him and many family and friends were in the crowd watching the game.

Berry won the game for the Chiefs by scoring 8 crucial points on defense. He scored on a pick six and late in the game he completed the “walk off” defensive two point conversion that happened earlier this year in Week 10 with the Broncos beating the Saints. The Falcons were up by one point late in the 4th quarter after scoring a touchdown. Instead of kicking the extra point and going up by two, head coach Dan Quinn decided to go for two to go up by three. Matt Ryan made a terrible pass in this two point attempt and Berry picked it off and ran it 100 yards the other way for two points for the Chiefs. So instead of going up by three points, the Falcons were down by two and eventually lost the game. Just a brutal way to lose a game, but an awesome way to win a game for his hometown crowd, Eric Berry.

Ladarius Webb

The 31 year old safety made one the better interceptions you will see in the 2nd quarter against the Dolphins. Ryan Tannehill threw what looked like to be a touchdown pass to Davante Parker, but Webb came flying in from off screen to intercept the ball in the end zone. Watching in real time made it hard to tell if Webb had control of the ball while in bounds, but the slow mo replay showed that it was a legit interception. Rad play.

Other Stuff

The Jets put up one of the more pathetic performances you will see on Monday night against the Colts. Dwayne Allen caught 3 touchdowns, Tolzein played the 4th quarter, and Fitzpatrick played his last snap as a Jet as he was benched during the game and it was announced Petty will start the rest of the season.

The snowy Bears/49ers games was one of the worst QB games ever played. The leading receiver for the 49ers was Jeremy Kerley who had 1 reception for 18 yards and the Bears receivers dropped almost every pass thrown by the strangely competent looking Matt Barkley. The Bears rookie running back Jordan Howard scored all three touchdowns in the game. I am not good at math but bad weather + two bad teams does not equal a good game.

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