Week 4 of the NFL season has already ended, we are already 25% of the way through the regular season and I have yet to write something interesting or feel satisfied covering the NFL in this blog. Some stuff did happen this week in the NFL, including my fantasy team named “I’m unaware of breast cancer” receiving its first win. I hate October in the NFL and it took a lot of effort to not reference the name of my fantasy team until the month of breast cancer awareness.

Julio Jones

Three hundred of anything is a lot. I haven’t had $300 in my savings account in years. I weigh over 300 pounds. It cost $300 to remove a tree that fell over in my yard. Three hundred is a lot. In fact I made reference to how much that is almost 3 years ago now when Calvin Johnson had 329 yards receiving. I scrolled through 3 years’ worth of horrifying posts to find this. Time is going by way too fast when I remember a status from 3 years ago. Or I am just a self-involved lonely loser.


Julio Jones had 300 yards receiving on Sunday. Even when I played Madden on rookie difficulty as a kid trying to get obscene stats, I don’t think I ever reached 300 yards receiving. There isn’t anything else to say other than pointing out how insane his stat line was on Sunday. Julio Jones is unbelievable.

Minnesota Vikings and mercenary QB’s

A few years ago when I could afford cable, I watched a lot of NFL network, specifically the docu-series A Football Life and Americas Team. A Football Life focuses on the career of a specific player, while Americas Team focuses on the Super Bowl winning team of a certain year. I haven’t watched them in years, but I remember thinking after watching several of these that Minnesota has had success with mercenary quarterbacks who were signed as free agents or traded for. Warren Moon, Randall Cunningham, Brett Favre, and it may to be early to tell with Sam Bradford, have all had success with the Vikings. Now for every Moon and Favre, there is also a Gus Frerotte, Donovan McNabb, and Matt Cassell. But they have had success with three previous, and are now 4-0 (3 of which were started and played well by Bradford) with old or weathered QB’s which is something that doesn’t happen often. The trade for Sam Bradford looks good a quarter of the way through the season and with his buggy eyes he is destroying my prediction of the NFC North being the worst division in the NFL this year. The Vikings are a poor man’s Denver Broncos, their defense is dominate and they have a game manager at QB.

Navarro Bowman

The injury that Bowman suffered during the 2014 NFC Championship game is harder to watch than an ISIS snuff film. He blew out everything in his knee as he gathered a turnover that the refs missed and didn’t review. He missed all of the 2015 season and finally returned last year. On Sunday he tore his Achilles tendon and is out for the year. Bowman was always overshadowed by the more recognizable Patrick Willis but he was one of the elite linebackers in the NFL. It is a shame that two potentially career ending injuries plagued his prime. I hope he pulls a Steve Smith and comes back to play next year after tearing one of the most important tendons in an athlete’s body.

2016 NFC Championship Game Curse

The two teams that played in the NFC Championship game last season have both started this season 1-3. Both teams lost a few players (Panthers not resigning Josh Norman looked like a mistake after Julio Jones destroyed them) but they also gained a few (Panthers have Kelvin Benjamin back and the Cardinals traded for Chandler Jones). The core of the two teams remain the same but they are both struggling and if both of them didn’t play in terrible divisions, they would be at risk of missing the playoffs. The way Carson Palmer is playing for the Cardinals, if he grew a hideous beard and wore a Jets jersey, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between him and Ryan Fitzpatrick. On Sunday Cam Newton did the same thing that he did last year vs. the Saints where he began to trot as he got close to the end zone and then got blown up on the one yard line. He still converted on the two point conversion last week when he got wrecked after being cocky and slowing down towards the goal line, but he missed the rest of the game going through the concussion protocol. I still think that both of these teams will make the play offs but they are not off to a great start.

Personal Foul Penalties

The NFL (Roger Goodell) wants to make playing in the NFL as soul crushing as working in a cube in an office with no job security. Any little gesture or celebration is being flagged. Antonio Brown was flagged again on Sunday night for his dance which is captured in the featured photo for this post. Josh Norman was flagged for gesturing to shoot a bow and arrow on the side lines after taking the ball away on defense. The strangely good wide receiver Terrelle Pryor was flagged for doing the harmless LeBron James dance. At this pace staring at opposing players will be flagged by week 10. The NFL actually kind of sucks and the sterile uber professional persona it tries to create so their beer and dick pill sponsors won’t be scared away by the gyrating black man, is extremely transparent.

The scores from week 4 are below: